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Host for Host: What Am I Before You, O Jesus?

In the depths of spiritual surrender, Don Dolindo Ruotolo’s “Hostia pro Hostia” reveals a profound eucharistic mysticism that transforms ordinary suffering into sacred offering. As part of his devoted ministry of spiritual direction, Don Dolindo composed this meditation in 1924 for the Carmelite Sister Maria Giuseppina of Jesus Crucified, born Giuseppina Catanea (1894-1948), also known as “of Ponti Rossi,” who was proclaimed blessed by Pope Benedict XVI in 2008. This meditation invites us to become living hosts consecrated by Divine Love.

Just as the priest’s words transform bread into Christ’s Body, Don Dolindo teaches that our complete surrender to the will of God allows Jesus to transform our very being. Through tribulations that grind us like wheat and the fire of ardent love that forms us into hosts, we are invited to hear Christ’s tender invitation: “This is my Body, this is my Blood!” In Don Dolindo’s spirituality, priesthood meant not merely offering the sacrament, but also spiritually becoming the sacrifice in perfect union with Christ.

What follows is Don Dolindo’s original writing, an intimate dialogue between Jesus and the soul, where we discover what it truly means to be “Host for Host.”


Jesus to the soul:

. . . You are anxious to know:

“What am I before Jesus? What must I do to please Him? Will I be faithful to Him?” Listen, I will tell you: Before Me you are like a host, and you must be like a host. The sufferings you have are a hidden life, rich in immense goods; they are the life of My Passion.

What is it that transubstantiates the Eucharistic host into My Body? It is My Will, My Power, My Love. I, through the Priest, pronounce over the bread the omnipotent words of life: “This is My Body.” And immediately the bread ceases to be, while preserving its appearances, and I live in the immaculate Host.

You must be a host for me, and I have preserved your life for this purpose. Every act of your life must be like a Eucharistic consecration. You must give yourself to me with the complete surrender of a host to be consecrated—without hesitation, without complications, without fears, without anxiety. If you retain even an atom of yourself, you become like a host made of different flour, upon which the divine words are pronounced in vain. The matter of the Most Holy Sacrament of the altar is pure wheat flour; this makes it capable of offering itself to me. Now my Will, in choosing wheat flour, has made it suitable to be transubstantiated into me.

Here is the fundamental condition to make yourself My host: You must live in My Will. Obedience consecrates your will in Me, and the word of those who represent God is like a word that is pronounced upon your will, and changes it into My Will.

When you suffer, it is I Who make you live My Passion, I Who still thirst to immolate Myself, and I go searching among the members of My Mystical Body for those who can collect this thirst of Mine and give themselves to Me as Eucharistic species. Surrender yourself to Me, do not fear, do not tremble, do not be afraid. It is I Who suffer in you, Who immolate you, Who place in you the flowers of My Passion.

Offer yourself to Me as a host of love, living of Me in the Sacrament. I have consecrated bread and wine, to then consecrate the human body and soul, absorbing it into My life. Love alone can make your being suitable for this solemn consecration. The more you love Me, the more you trust in Me, the more you seek Me, the more you feed on My life, and the more I substitute Myself for you, until I make you full of My life, like a consecrated Host.

For this I seek you from the holy Tabernacle of love, and I thirst to give Myself, and I clothe you with Myself, and I make you feel My thirst.

You desire Me because I desire you, because I attract you, because I have created your life anew for this purpose! Trust in Me, seek Me, and bring Me an immolated love, a will immersed in My Will, a peaceful heart!

You say: “What must I do?”

Here, My child, you must do what is necessary to form a Eucharistic host: The grain is not suitable matter for consecration. It must first be beaten and freed from the chaff; then it must be ground; then sifted; then it must be kneaded; then it must be pressed in an iron; then it must pass through fire, and after all this . . . the host suitable for consecration emerges.

Look: as long as you are quiet and idle grain, you cannot be transformed into Me: tribulation strikes you, disillusionment with human things frees you from chaff, interior anguishes of the soul grind you and make you like flour, uncertainties, aridity, fears, holy humiliations sift you, obedience molds you, recollection and the Rule enclose you, ardent love makes you My host!

Then you must place yourself on My altar and live of Me with such filial trust, and with such surrender, that I can say to you, enclosing you in My Heart, immersing you in My life, supplying for your littleness, healing you in your miseries, purifying you in your faults, praying, adoring, loving for you: “This is My Body, this is My Blood!”

You say: “Will I be faithful to Him?”

And I have come to you, living and true precisely for this, My child. You do not yet realize My loving work, but you will see it when you verify that I live in you, and you live in Me. As a conqueror gains little by little the city he wants to conquer, so I am gradually conquering you to My love!

Be at peace: I will lead you to the end of this glorious calling to which you are invited. Do not fear, but the more you see yourself poor and miserable, then trust in me all the more! Come to My Tabernacle, live of Me.

Every glance of yours attracts Me, every tear calls Me, every weakness, humbly acknowledged, draws Me to you like the merciful Samaritan who comes to heal you! I am yours, do you understand? I am not idle in you: I am life, life, life that expands, that consumes the seeds of death, that elevates, that vivifies and that then glorifies you eternally!

The soul:

I am overwhelmed, O Jesus, by Your infinite goodness—how loving You are towards me! I thank You for giving me life, for gazing upon me with such mercy, and I offer myself entirely to You, that You may do with me as You wish. Here I am, Lord!

My will is no longer mine but Yours; my love is Yours, completely Yours, and now it has become a living tabernacle of Your love.

Live in me and possess me fully, that I may place no obstacles before Your adorable Will.

O merciful Lord, look not upon my miseries nor count my ingratitude. Rather, see Yourself in me and me in You, that my darkness might vanish in Your light, my stains in Your purity, my harshness in Your sweetness, my pride in Your humility, and my coldness in Your love.

Thank You, Jesus, thank You for coming into me, alive and true, with such abundant gifts. Thank You!

O Most Holy Virgin Mary, my Mother, present me to Jesus and thank Him for me, as I am not worthy to do so. I consecrate myself to You on this day of my new birth and, entrusting myself completely to you, my Mother, I hope to begin a new life filled with trust in Jesus in the Eucharist. Thus, I shall often repeat throughout the day these brief prayers:

“My Jesus, take care of it!”

“My Jesus, I trust in You!”

“My Jesus, draw me into You and let me live through You!”

“I adore You every moment, O living Bread of Heaven, great Sacrament!”

“O Mary, my hope, take care of it!”

“Lord, I offer you my whole self, my thoughts, my will, my heart, my life, my sufferings, everything for your glory!”

“Let your will be done and not mine!”

“Thank You, Jesus, for my sorrows and my pains, make me worthy to live through your sorrows.”

“Holy Mary, grant that the wounds of the Lord be impressed upon my heart!”

Don Dolindo Ruotolo, Naples, June 26, 1924


Author’s Note: If you would like to read more about Don Dolindo’s spirituality, check out these Don Dolindo books

Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash

From Don Dolindo’s writings (June 26, 1924). Hostia pro Hostia. Elevazione Eucaristica. Apostolato Stampa.

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